Marriage Diaries Chapter III – Shagan Night

Marriage Diaries of Charu Bhateja Shagan Function

Just a night prior to the morning we had to leave was Mehndi, implying we had a fun and tiresome night. With all our family members coming together, dancing and drowning in the joys of marriage, there I was, strangled in the melodramatic thoughts of her leaving me and opting for a new roommate (her husband). Nevertheless, I felt emotional and excited, all at once.

We wrapped up the function by midnight; however, since we had to leave for Delhi at five in the morning, we planned to clean the house as the floor marble seemed to be engraved with Mehndi. Ahh! I, mom and my first cousin managed to clean the house and by one we were all set to doze a little. But of course, decorated with the divine designs of henna, my sister could barely understand how to place her body in a resting mode. The mehndi boy had directed to remove henna after two and so I, with eyes almost shutting and mind transplanting itself to hibernation mode, chose to give her company till the divinity crafted on her hand exemplified the love of her husband.

April 13th, 2017 6 A.M.
Mom: Wake up, we are late. It’s seven already.

Me: Eyes wide open, body half unconscious… Staring at my mom trying to understand what’s going on. *Epiphany hits*. We have to leave for Delhi. It’s her Shagan function today.

Blanket thrown aside, on my feet to rush to the washroom, looked at the wall clock five minutes to six it displayed. **Mom will be Mom**

We had booked one traveler and two cars, everyone seemed to get ready by seven and the house was not at all hushed up.

“Start moving the bags outside the house, we need to keep them in the traveler”, said elder cousin.

“On it bhaiya” I said.

My lane is a bit narrow, cars can come inside but traveler would find it difficult to make an about turn or even reverse for that matter. So, we were all making rounds dragging the bags, some lifting them and others with sweets boxes and if at all there’s a doubt about how many bags did we have approximately thirty-five.

Also Read: Marriage Diaries Chapter II – Beautiful & Emotional

April 13th, 2017 7:30 A.M.

Mom to Dad: “We have to reach today, not after the function”

Dad said nothing and sped up his chores.

April 13th, 2017 7:45 A.M.

We were all in our respective seats, some in the traveler, some settled in the cars, we left for Delhi Cantt. The journey had been smooth and a little sleepy as we were all tired and had to stay up the entire night almost. And for the next two nights, things seemed no different.

**Marriages are serious ceremonies. We invest our time, energy, money and most importantly, our emotions in a two-day affair, in Punjabis stretched and made into a five- day extravagant affair.**

April 13th, 2017 3:00 P.M.

We reached the destination, Chief Engineers Mess, Delhi Cantt. We had our lunch and started settling into the rooms. We had booked 10 rooms in the officer’s residence and since they were given only for functions, only our family was there. Rest of the rooms were locked. It was nicely constructed a three-storied building in the shape of a circle with rooms at the boundary and the inside of the circle was filled with greenery with a lovely fountain in the middle. The rooms were almost as spacious as honeymoon suites and that helped us refresh ourselves in a jiffy. Some took a little nap, some unpacked stuff a little and then started off to get ready as the function had to start at six in the evening.

April 13th 2017 7:00 P.M.

Shagan, in punjabis, is a function where you exchange gifts with the other party (here, Kanav’s family) and show it off to the world. Here’s the catch. Although, it is said to be exchange of gifts, often than not, it’s mostly one party giving and the other party receiving. Accompanied by dance, drinks and hell lot of drama, shagan is one of the most in-demand functions in a Punjabi wedding.

We entered the hall, me, with my sister. And of course, we were the center of attraction. No, I’m lying here, she was the one. She had to be the one and that night, she, undeniably, was an enormously gorgeous thing. I saw my brother-in-law look at her and swoon in her love all over again. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and couldn’t wait to sit next to her on the crown.

Marriage Diaries of Charu Bhateja Shagan Function
The Bride – Charu Bhateja
Marriage Diaries of Charu Bhateja Shagan Function
Bride’s sister – *Me*

Also Read: Marriage Diaries Chapter I – Adventurous Ride Home

Oh, did I not mention that my Brother-in-law is one of the most handsome men I have ever come across in my life? I just did 😉

**I’ll share his picture in the next and last chapter – Marriage Diaries Chapter IV – Kanav Ki Dulhaniya**

The larke-wale had prepared a dance performance and so did we. Everyone danced like crazy and some drank like crazy, same thing! We were thrilled, at the same time, tired and a little worried. The next day was marriage, and we wanted everything to be perfect, being a larki-wala does come with a bit of default tension and consciousness. But over anything else, we were happy rather delighted to have such a good family for my sister.

The clock struck 12! And her wedding day started …

Stay tuned for the Bhateja Sister’s Marriage Diaries! 

 

 

Marriage Diaries Chapter II – Beautiful & Emotional

Marriage Diaries Chapter II - Beautiful & Emotional

Since, the main marriage ceremony is to be held in Delhi, we threw a lunch function for the people of the town. We, of course, had invited everyone, the relatives, friends and acquaintances. The rationale behind the function was to treat people who might not be able to make up till Delhi to attend the marriage.

The function had to start with a Sundarkand Paath followed by grand lunch (with Dj of course!) The paath had to commence at nine o’ clock in the morning. However, since a few relatives stayed back on the night prior, we slept around four in the morning and therefore, got up late. Though my parents were up on time and were all ready, we, the Bhateja sisters, were a little drowsy and lazy. It wasn’t truly laziness, lethargy is the word! More so, I had been on my feet the entire night to serve dinner and change the music for the kids. I don’t know how I managed to put the nail paint in the middle of everything. Nevertheless, we were all dolled up by ten o’ clock, my sister towards a little more glamorous side, obviously. We reached the hotel by 10.30 A.M. Okay, so just to clear out the confusion, pooja and lunch both were held at the hotel. The pooja/paath was scheduled from nine to twelve and post that the lunch was supposed to happen.

charu bhateja in green dress marriage function
Charu Bhateja (to-be-bride)
Ritika Bhateja wearing blue dress In Charu Bhateja's Marriage
That’s me, of course!

Now, since the paath started an hour late, we had presumed it would wind up an hour later, which didn’t happen as it continued till 2 P.M. Here’s the funny part, though, we had invited everyone for the paath and lunch (clearly mentioned on the wedding card, supported by my father’s personal calls to almost each one of the relatives), no one, apart from our family members showed up before one o’ clock. So, to infer, most of them had planned to just have lunch, as they must have calculated that even if the paath gets prolonged, they still are going late by an hour. These are elders, I’m talking about! Anyway! God, on the other hand, was smarter 😉 and therefore, almost everyone was present during the aarti.

The Beautiful and Emotional Part

Just before the aarti, panditji asked me to distribute rose petals to everyone and announced that no one will shower them before the aarti. Once the aarti got over, he asked everyone to settle down and said, “The to-be-bride is sitting here, and on behalf of her, I want to apologize everyone for the mistakes she has ever committed, forgive her and shower your blessings on her for a successful married life.

Everyone came towards her and sprinkled the rose petals and in that moment she personified glory for me. She was surrounded with rose petals, one of the most beautiful sights ever! My sister was one pristine sight! Dressed in a light green gown adorned with silver stones, she dazzled with the rose petals, literally encircling her. And such blessings made us cry, however, I was the only one who didn’t break down but as I turned and saw my Dad, Mom and sister shed tears, I couldn’t hold back mine. We experienced bliss 🙂

Post that we moved over for lunch, which was arranged in another hall. I felt mature as I asked everyone if they had lunch or if they needed anything and that they have to be there on the wedding. With folded hands, I bid everyone goodbye and conveyed my thankfulness for coming. The food was amazing as everyone mentioned and the Dj was fun too. We had kept the function in Hotel Deep Residency again, as in the case of her Roka. Everything turned out beautiful and perfect 🙂

We are leaving for Delhi tomorrow, where we have Shagan and Marriage! Bags packed! Sleepless night! Bhateja Sahab ki Shadi!

Stay tuned for Bhateja Sister’s Marriage Diaries!

Marriage Diaries Chapter I – Adventurous Ride Home

marriage diaries part 1

I was all set to leave for hometown to attend my sister’s marriage ceremony. Actually, not just attend the marriage, but all the marriage related rituals, and customary practices. For the first time in my life span of 22 years, I was enthralled about being a part of such festivities. And why shouldn’t have I been, it’s my real sister’s cum best friend who’s getting married.

Honestly, I can barely fathom the perception people have, that girls are fascinated by the idea of their marriages since childhood because all I have ever thought about is “my sister’s” marriage. I have dreamt about every single thing concerning her marriage, right from the kind of husband she should have to how much money I need to make by then to buy her the wedding dress. I just wanted everything perfect!

10.30 A.M.

I still got three hours before the time of bus and I’m already set to leave. Bags packed, shoes worn, hair done, whoa! Being ready before time does feel good!

10.40 A.M.

***Oh, I have to collect my clothes from the tailor***

I had been going to the gym lately, of course, to get in the perfect shape to flaunt that Lehnga on her wedding. Luckily, I managed to lose a couple of inches and therefore, my clothes needed alterations.

I rushed to the tailor.

11.20 A.M.

Tailor check. Feeling a little hungry.

I planned to grab a sub from the market and rush back to the pg to pick my stuff so as to leave for bus stand.

***I still got more than two hours, it barely takes an hour to reach the bus stand***

So, I decided to have my favorite corn and pea sub instead of take away.

12.00 P.M.

My cab was waiting downstairs and I, somehow, rushed with my three bags, apparently.

Bhaiya, fast chalana please, bus hai 1.30pm

Ma’am, 80 Se upar drive nahi kar sakte hai, points deduct hote hain

1.30 P.M.

Two minutes to bus stand showed the GPS and with my fingers crossed, I hoped the bus had not started off. I stepped out of the cab with three bags and tried to run towards the bus stand. Thanks to my adorably cute height that my short steps could hardly cover any distance, especially with the entire luggage. You see, with the way I was trying to carry the bags and make an attempt to run, supposedly I must have qualified for the heavyweight championship.

Anyway, I saw the bus moving from a distance and suddenly I found myself as Kareena Kapoor from Jab We Met, trying with all my might to catch the bus and guess what, I did too. Though for that moment, I personified ‘clumsiness’.

via GIPHY

Everyone gave me those weird stares, of course, guys gave me nice ones 😉 but who cares, I was in the bus.

Moral of the Story: Never give up, because heavyweight champion, John Cena doesn’t give up!

Are you still with me? Really after all this? Thanks buddy!

Stay tuned for the Bhateja Sister’s Marriage Diaries! 

15 Wild Thoughts Every Bride Has Just Before The Wedding Night

Wild thoughts brides have before wedding

Well, these days ‘marriage’ has become the smoking hot topic of every discussion. You know a torrid affair whose flames are rising briskly? For past couple of months, this is what ‘marriage’ has become suggestive of. So, this train of thoughts has a reason – My friends’ approaching marriage(s). While I was still recovering from these thoughts about the fears of marriage, I stumbled upon rather interesting musings.

Yes! If the whole marriage thing was not enough, please make way for the Wedding Night! I mean, cmon Bollywood made a full-length song about it. How can one forget “Suhaag Raat hai, ghunghat utha raha hun main?” Wedding Night as in Suhaag Raat certainly makes the talks about marriage a little more fascinating. Right?

So, I thought of channeling the wild thoughts every bride has before the wedding night by questioning the many would-be brides around me. So, here are 15 completely insane thoughts brides have before the wedding night!

1. Do I need to wear a veil (ghunghat) and sit on the bed with all the jewels on, till he arrives or is it restricted to movies?

2. And if yes, there are innumerable clothes and jewels. Would he understand them? How will they come off?

3. Oh Good Lord! Will the lights stay on or off? I like it with lights off. Yes, lights off.

4. I hope I don’t have to carry a glass of milk. What exactly is their obsession with such customs? A glass of Kesar-milk for him really? Only he needs the energy?

5. I think he will like the red lace lingerie I specially bought! Will it be too early to wear them? I think I should wait for a week!

Also Read: 5 Ways to Make Him Crave For You Now!

6. So, I think we should talk and relax a little, will he understand that? And do I look fat today?

7. The parlor lady has fitted my hair taut. These hair clips are certainly going to take the entire night!

8. Has he done it before? Does he even know how to do it? What if I don’t want to do that night?

9. Are there going to be rose petals on the bed? I think there should be candles too. Really! Wow, that seems romantic!

10. Should I say ‘No’ if he tries? Do I need to blush and blush a little more? And more? What exactly do I need to do?

Also Read: 5 Things MEN Expect You To Know But Are Afraid To Tell You!

11. Whoa! Don’t tell me the elders will look at me like I’m a child-bearing machine. Stop dreaming about your grandchildren!

12. What will everyone think when they will leave us alone in the room? Will they think nasty of us? Now, that’s a little awkward.

13. They’ll definitely give me weird expressions tomorrow morning. Will those aunties be finally comfortable with me being with a guy? Ahh! Those Aunties!

14. Are they going to ask me estranged questions about the night? How it was? What I did? No way!

15. Damn, I Am Married! Even my parents would think I’ve had sex! This is embarrassing! They’d be sure about it when I’m pregnant. God!

Also Read: 5 Reasons That Prove Being The 21st Century Generation Is Just Awesome

Why Are We Scared Of Getting Married?

Why are we scared of getting married by A Fault By Default

These days, all I’m hearing about, in my family and peer group is ‘Marriage’. My friends are getting married, my relatives are getting married, in fact, even my younger cousins are getting married. It seems this is the only thing left to be done. As if, this is the ultimate motive of human existence.

But you know what?

I am scared of marriage, I’m afraid of settling down and I am sure most of you are. Did you ever wonder, why the whole marriage thing freaks us all?

Here is the answer to the question – why are we scared of marriage?

1. We have become over exposed to the fact that we have come alone in this world. Everything else is just a delusion.

We are a generation infatuated to our efforts of finding ourselves. When we invest our time and efforts on someone, we expect returns. We are not a generation who will invest themselves in structuring their life around someone who just isn’t worth it. Therefore, marriage scares us.

the search for finding own self makes us scared of marriage

2. The general insight of marriage amongst the idealists is that it clips our wings.

We’re so expended with running the rat race that life has been condensed to, most of us flinch at the very thought of getting married, especially when we’re in our twenties. We are scared of getting married because marriage is now paralleled with being tied down.

3. It involves fusing into someone else’s life, in a manner that you are almost one unit.

While most of us are trying to establish peace with our own demons, the idea of being responsible for another being is beyond what most of us agreed for. The old-school marriage involved a considerable amount of compromises to be made by both ends, and the 21st century generation is not very convinced with this outlook.
funny compromise quotes

Also Read: An Open Letter to Women Who Lose Their Badass Side in Love  

4. With efflux of time, more women are breaking, what we call the typical societal stereotypes.

They are determined towards attaining financial independence, and so, marriage takes a backseat and the chase of ambitions tops the priority. The notion of the ‘ideal bahu’ has changed over the years, and women no longer seek indulgence in being the flawless homemaker. This, of course, adds to the reason of being scared of getting married.


Actress Asin dressed as Indian Bride

Apart from all this, while marriage might be a chilling prospect, don’t we all want someone to come home to?

There is always a sense of contentment in being assured of someone’s presence after the end of a long, shitty day, especially when nothing makes sense. Mom is kind of right, you know, when she says that loneliness finally gets to your head and eventually, you the feel the need of the significant other.

But all of it, when you are ready! Only when the time is right! After all, commitment freaks us all!