You may have come across relationships that turn out to be something ideal for you. But, do you know what difficulties and complications two people have to go through to keep the relationship going? How about when the distance becomes the factor to break you apart?
You may believe in the myth that Long Distance Relationship doesn’t work but might have been wrong at some point. So, let me tell you, where you are lacking and why is it not working the way you have imagined.
You don’t make time to talk to each other
It is a myth that when two people are in love they don’t need to exchange words as they can communicate through their hearts. When you are in a long distance relationship, all you are left to exchange is words. When you are not doing it properly, it can simply lead to lack of interest and, hence, breakup.
The trust factor of the relationship is lacking
The key to any relationship is the level of trust and when you are miles apart, you need it the most. You should be able to trust your partner as much as you can to be able to make things better. Long Distance Relationships are no different!
You tend to consider your LDR a burden
You tend to consider your long distance relationship as burden rather than taking it seriously and enjoying the bits of loving someone at a distance. Instead of looking at the power and positivity you are getting out of it, you look at the negative aspects of being physically separate.
New environment usually becomes a major cause
As your environment changes, you usually forget about the person who is on the other side of the globe. If that person means to you something, no matter how many friends you have, you just need that one person to be around you. And if not.. you are just lost in the new world.
You keep listening to experience of the people nearby
The biggest mistake you could ever do is to believe what others are saying or have experienced in their relationship. Listening to them may lead your LDR on the same track of leaving your other half.
Wrapping it up
However, it may seem something unachievable but long distance relationships are not a road of thorns when two people who choose to fight for each other.
Each one of us here craves for a perfect relationship which has excellent communication as its base. But ever wondered if telling everything has some ill effects?
To have a healthy and happy relationship, you must figure out the things that are better left unsaid. Yes, good communication and transparency are required, but at times this becomes the sole reason for the clinginess between you two. Now, we aren’t saying that cheat on your partners, but for some shared benefits avoid telling almost everything irrelevant that pops into your head.
To prevent the hustle of sorting the stuff about what to tell and what not we have listed a few things you should never tell your boyfriend.
1. Your friend is HOT
Would you like if he does the same? Of course not! You would burn into flames then why to make him feel insecure? He and only he should be in your mind. Yes, window shopping is no harm, even if you do keep it to yourself.
2. This is what my EX has also done
Never make the mistake of comparing your present partner with your ex. Surely there might be a big reason for why your ex is your ex and not your present. Leave him there itself. Now, you have a new person who loves you. Guys hate being compared, especially with your ex.
3. The cliched “We need to talk”
If you start a conversation with these wordings your boyfriend might get defensive. This would make him jump to wrong conclusions resulting in tiffs between you two.
4. You need to work on your stamina
It’s okay if you want him to improve his skills in bed but saying this straightforwardly to him will surely break his heart. Moreover, this will make him feel less manly. So instead of saying exactly these words, you could rephrase it by saying “Why don’t WE join the gym, after all its good to be healthy.”
5. You are immature
A single line of yours and he will transform into a man walking on a grave. In return to this, he might bash you on behaving like his mom and being extra careful. Moreover, inside you also want a blend of spoiled child and a sober man.
So, zip your lock when necessary and cherish the essence of the beautiful bond that you share with your boyfriend!
The tiff between Friends and Boyfriends is never ending. The former has been with her through all the roller-coaster rides of her life while the other has bought an all new meaning to her life. To choose between these 2 gems has never been easy, but it seems girls value their friendship more than their love relationships.
So, before you get into a relationship with your dream girl, make sure she doesn’t have a best friend, I mean definitely not the one in Pyar Ka Punchnama. Have a look at the reasons which convey why girls are inclined more towards their friends. And you never know, these might act as best relationship tips for you.
A peep into the psychology of Girls:
1) Friendship is forever
Once a girl has chosen her soul-sister, dare you to replace her! They might fight like cats but in hard times you would watch them being each other’s back. Oh! Just to be a clear, a girl never finds a soul-brother in her best male friend. Fights with best friends are free from any knots whereas a single fight with the boyfriend can ruin the fairytale dreams.
2) Deeply entrenched in each other’s life
Friends have been stuck to her for obviously a longer period of time and anybody would place their old relations above the new ones. From her grunge and gross dress up as a teen to a perfectly dressed adult, they have seen it all. Although, there’s no denial that boyfriends can do romantic things to melt their women’s heart, but friends steal the show often.
3) The lightness of mind and soul
When compared to long hours spent with boyfriends, even a few minutes with friends feel more honest and relaxed. She is an open book in front of her friends. Moreover, she can share anything and everything with them. Therefore, being loyal is not a big task for her.
4) The Rescuers
After all the pebbles that life has thrown at her, she has got her friends to bring her back together. Boyfriends might become ‘ex’ but friends are never getting older. Be it the scolding of her parents or a fight with boyfriend, she finds home in her friend’s hug.
All crazy and quaky things find their place in her friend’s lap. She can be drenched in foolishness and still no one would judge her. They have their own humorous dancing steps on the world’s weirdest yet funniest songs. Her A-rated talks find a higher level when she is with her gang.
6) No need of space
Most of the fights in a relationship revolve around the space each partner need. They quarrel over minimal things results in a tensed atmosphere. But with friends, you need no space as you already have the freedom of speech and action.
Friends spend long hours in her house doing nothing as if it is their own house and her parents are their parents. Also, with passing days they become a part of her family, while on the other hand, she needs to think hundred times before bringing her boyfriend to meet her parents.
Receiving love and affection from that one special person, boyfriend, means the world to us. No doubt a girl once in love with someone leaves no stone unturned to make her better half feel loved and happy. Coming to us, it is a huge myth that we fall for big and flashy things. Instead, it is the cute little things that our boyfriends do that make us feel on the top of the world.
Love is the most amazing feeling one can share with someone with complete loyalty for a lifetime. No matter how kiddish and troublesome they get at times, they are the ones making us feel lucky and positive about life.
Here are a few things our boyfriends do that melts our heart and we can’t stop awing at them!
1. Hey Honey, You are Beautiful! The whispering compliment does it all
Yes! Yes, Guys! That’s all! The sudden compliments that boyfriends pass to their girlfriends just make their day. The intimacy and love in your whisper lead to a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.
Boyfriends really have no idea what their good morning text means to their girlfriends! The cute text makes her feel wanted which in turn makes her a keeper of you. Your text adds a spark to her dull morning otherwise.
4. The Purity of a Forehead Kiss
Nothing in this world is more passionate than an alluring kiss on the forehead. It shows your respectful and protective behavior towards her.
Introducing her to everyone you know with complete faith and confidence is all she needs.
9. With her head on your chest “Cuddle All The Way”
Grabbing her, kissing her, talking to her in her eyes, noticing the inner beauty she possesses and everything that combines to form a perfect cuddle is the cutest and the most amiable thing for your girl. This gives her a chance to get more into you.
10. Singing your heart out
Even though you aren’t a great singer, grab her waist, pulling her closer run your fingers through her hair with the touch of your lovable humming in her ears. Your magical tunings will seem as melodious as honey to her as it is a way of showering love upon her. Grooving a little is an icing on the cake.
Telling her about your ambitions, your fears and insecurities might not always get you solutions but it surely gets you an extra care and love. You get more comfortable and easy to handle. Seeing you happy and relaxed takes the lines off her forehead. You tend to build a deeper mental and emotional connection as you discuss things with her.
Relationships are built on trust, love, sacrifices and honesty. It’s important to have a note of things that make you partner happy. After all being by the side of your love forever is not in everyone’s destiny. If it gives you it knows to take back. So, cherish the small things you offer to each other!
The myth that men do not possess feelings creates relationship problems. Men are generally considered as the feelingless gender. Since the beginning of time, men are taught not to cry, and not to express themselves if they feel bad about something. And therefore, men feel that after a bad day at work, going to a bar and grabbing some drinks to relax is a better option than going home and answering their wives as to what is wrong?
It happens because men do not ace at the art of expressing their feelings. They often convert their sadness into anger or pride. This is why people have this notion that men do not have feelings; however, we forget that men are always taught to be strong, confident and stoic, which is why they start equating emotions as weakness.
To lead a better life, men need to learn how to express their sentiments and emotions with their wives or girlfriends. This will further lead to a healthier relationship between the two. Also, as they say, ‘sharing is caring’, the more we share with our partner better it is for both, and everything around will be good.
If you think back on your childhood heroes, chances are that most of them were tough, independent, unbeaten and confident men who managed to remove any obstacles (often with violence) that might have gotten in their way. These childhood heroes of ours have contributed in developing certain aspects of our character, they probably didn’t offer a lot in the way of teaching us how to be open and honest about our emotional state.
Men, since their childhood, are brought up to take care of their sisters, mothers and wives. This has been infused in their minds that they are the ones who are the bread-earners of the family, have to take the entire load and are not supposed to mention if they feel stressed. This typical macho-man image is created as such that if a man, who is emotional and cries, collaborates with his colleagues instead of competing, he is considered to be someone who cannot do anything in life.
This is why when men come into a relationship with a woman, they try and take charge of everything be it financially or physically. They accept the roles defined by the society for them- providers and protectors. Men are taught masculinity lies in not being emotional and not expressing because this makes them look weak. Though it’s good to be strong and protective of your partner, yet not able to express yourself and share your thoughts can cause serious harm to the relations you are in. Your partner will always be confused as she will not be able to decipher what is going on in your mind.
Emotions live in the background of a man’s life and the foreground of a woman’s.
Five Ways To Open Up With Your Partner
Whatever we have been taught since childhood is not always correct, and sometimes, in order evolve we need to break the barriers. Men are less expressive as they have been taught the same things since childhood – to be macho. But time has changed and millennial men are up for deep conversations with their partners.
However, women need to understand that there is a difference in how men and women express, as they being new to the era of talking and sharing, it might seem that they are still hiding something. So, you need to understand them and give them to adapt to the changing conditions so they are comfortable.
Here are some ways men can use to open up with their partner:
Identify Your Feelings
In order to share your feelings with your partner, you need to first understand and acknowledge your own feelings. You need to accept that you too, feel the need to share, you too feel the pain, you too want to cry out sometimes or want to hug someone when you feel low.
When you are able to feel your feelings only then can you put them in words for the other person to understand your needs. We know it is difficult to instantly change, but baby steps are all you need and things will become easier slowly and steadily.
Understand that Feeling Vulnerable is Okay
After you have identified your feeling now is the time to say them out. You will feel vulnerable which is okay because never in your life have you expressed yourself or we can say never left you zone where you are all confident. Vulnerability will expose you in front your partner.
You will lose your invincible image and become normal. Showing your emotions in front of the one you love is not wrong. In fact, it will help nurture your relationship. As now, your partner will now be able to know the real ‘You’.
Stop Being The Macho Man Reflection
In order to loosen up with your partner and show them real self, it is important that you let go off your macho image. Not that you just let it go forever but with your partner, tender you is needed not the tough you. The tender you can embrace her and comfort her.
Embrace Her Feelings and Tell Her If You Feel the Same
When you plan on opening up with your partner but have no idea where to start from, listening to your partner’s feelings can be a good first step. It might seem easy to listen, however, it is definitely not easy to give someone your undivided attention and just understand their needs. Because along with being bad at expressing, men are bad listeners as well.
So, in order to actually make a better relationship with your partner, listen to everything she has to say. While you listen to her, make an attempt to feel those emotions. Simply listening like a bull head and nodding does not help, so try and make way into the conversation by being empathetic.
Seek Compassion, Support and Empathy
Now that you have done your part of explaining your partner about your feelings, and have expressed yourself in the best way possible, it’s time to ask for compassion, support and empathy.
Ask her to be by your side in your ups and downs. This is the crucial part but if you are able to do this, then you have already taken your relationship to another level with your partner.
Men and women have been brought up differently and so there is also a difference between their ways of expression. There are things men want women to know but will never say, likewise, there are few secrets that women will keep forever.
It is imperative that we make ourselves aware of these differences, so that, we are able to converse successfully, while building relationships with other people.
Though, it isn’t easy for men to open up with their partners because of the kind of notions that we have in our society, yet, if men are able to follow the above steps to highlight their feelings and share them – relationship will surely flourish.
Dear Future Husband,
I am pretty sure that I’m not your dream girl (I’m not Deepika Padukone/Alia Bhatt/Jacqueline after all!) but, trust me, I am the girl who will walk with you to achieve your dreams, apart from the one mentioned above *rolls eyes*.
I am not perfect, but I’ll make sure that our lives are. You’ll have the freedom you need and the space you deserve. Each day with me would be one hell of a ride and yet when you come home, I’ll welcome you with open arms and twinkling eyes. I’ll bid you a warm goodbye when either of us leaves for work, and will not bombard you with those love-filled messages or calls (mostly *wink*). I’ll let you work in peace because that’s what I want from you and together I know, we can make this happen.
You may be scared of marriage and so am I, but marrying an imperfect woman (like *Me*) comes with some added benefits 🙂 1. I’ll not have the same opinion and perspective towards life, and might even have a completely opposite lifestyle, but I’ll not judge you for being who you are and for having dreams that seem worldly impossible.
… Because I know you’ll respect my opinions and make an attempt to understand them.
2. Well, I won’t lie here. I’ll take some time to get ready and dressed up, but when I’m done I’ll look like a proper patola as in total bombshell and I’m going to swoon you in my love each time it happens.
It’ll be worth every second of the wait, you bet!
3. Obviously, I will miss my parents and sometimes resort to crying about being away from them. But none of it will affect the relationship I have with your parents. I’ll love and respect them like my own.
… And I know you’ll make equally enough efforts with my parents too.
4. I might perhaps never be able to cook the earth shaped Rotis, but I’ll accompany you to the best food joints in the city and we’ll eat everything the world has to offer.
Discovering and exploring new places, and trying exotic yet delicious delicacies – that’s the dream, right?
5. I will argue with you and confront you each time I feel the need, but I’ll never bottle up my emotions, and let bitterness brew and affect our relationship…
… Because I’m conscious of the fact that an ideal relationship needs constant renovation. I will never give up on ‘us’.
6. There would be times I totally screw up and commit blunders, but I promise, instead of running away from them, I’ll accept them and apologize for them!
… For ‘you’ and ‘our relationship’ mean a lot more than my ego!
7. Often than not, I’ll crib, cry and even complain about the world to you, but each time you’ll need to vent, I’ll be the strong shoulder for you.
I’ll let you unburden yourself and will understand you because I know it’s not a perfect world out there, and we all need time to cool off.
8. I’ll never let a day slip away without creating lasting memories with you. From notes to cards, hugs to kisses, I’ll make every moment special for you.
Because all these memories will make us adore each other even more.
9. With me you’ll always feel handsome, hot, brave, wanted, needed, special… I’ll treat exactly as I want you to treat me, never a percent less
We don’t have to wait for the world to validate, as long as we are perfect for each other.
10. I might get too overwhelmed with my emotions at times, and suffer from cryptic mood swings, but I’ll calm down the moment you say, “babe I’m here with you.”
That’s all I would need then!
11. I will understand your hardships and stand by you and help you endure.
… For I have tasted failure too, and I know what it feels like, but even more, I’ve picked myself up and breathed. And as one, we’ll do the same for you.
12. I don’t expect rather want you to be perfect either – that’s too much of a burden to handle.
I’ll rather accept you exactly the way you are – weird, flawed and genuine, like me!
13. And of course, the greatest advantage of getting married to an imperfect woman is that you’ll be spending your life with someone who is candid in her thoughts and actions.
…For my flaws and imperfections make me unique and one of my kind.
And a flawed original is still better than a perfect duplicate, right?
Well, these days ‘marriage’ has become the smoking hot topic of every discussion. You know a torrid affair whose flames are rising briskly? For past couple of months, this is what ‘marriage’ has become suggestive of. So, this train of thoughts has a reason – My friends’ approaching marriage(s). While I was still recovering from these thoughts about the fears of marriage, I stumbled upon rather interesting musings.
Yes! If the whole marriage thing was not enough, please make way for the Wedding Night! I mean, cmon Bollywood made a full-length song about it. How can one forget “Suhaag Raat hai, ghunghat utha raha hun main?” Wedding Night as in Suhaag Raat certainly makes the talks about marriage a little more fascinating. Right?
So, I thought of channeling the wild thoughts every bride has before the wedding night by questioning the many would-be brides around me. So, here are 15 completely insane thoughts brides have before the wedding night!
1. Do I need to wear a veil (ghunghat) and sit on the bed with all the jewels on, till he arrives or is it restricted to movies?
2. And if yes, there are innumerable clothes and jewels. Would he understand them? How will they come off?
3. Oh Good Lord! Will the lights stay on or off? I like it with lights off. Yes, lights off.
4. I hope I don’t have to carry a glass of milk. What exactly is their obsession with such customs? A glass of Kesar-milk for him really? Only he needs the energy?
5. I think he will like the red lace lingerie I specially bought! Will it be too early to wear them? I think I should wait for a week!
After being surrounded by a ridiculously hysterical breed of people, my quest to establish peace with the demonsinside me has reached a whole new level. Having heard volumes about the humanity still existing and the presence of good humans, the zest to encounter something of that genre has increased manyfold. The reason, perhaps, is the not so opportune countenance I have received from the hysterical breed.
Rather than going into the intricacies of the discomfort and subsequent displeasure I was subjected to, owing to their narcissistic demeanor, I would talk about the broader perspective which concerns with how to deal with such people.
How to Recognize Them?
1. With their ego-levels reaching cloud Nine and apparent emotional levels dug below the Earth’s crust, this is one of the most commonly found breed on the planet.
2. You’ll always find them acting selfish and defending their actions by phrases such as, “This is how I am”, “I can’t help it”, “I cannot change myself.”
3. Instead of lending you a helping hand at the time of need, they would pretend to lend you a helping hand. For instance, “I wish I could help but..”, “I know you need me but..”, “I really want to help you but..” The ‘but’, my friend, is their favorite word.
4. They would expect you to go out of your comfort zone and do things for them, considering themselves to be worthy of all the privilege. However, when the tables turn, they act agitated, annoyed and ignorant.
Now, that you are able to recall most people falling under this category, let us lay our focus on how to deal with egoistic / self-centered/ narcissistic people.
Time and again, you have been told to realize and acknowledge ‘self-worth’ and I am reiterating the same ‘understand your worth’. Nobody knows you more than your ownself, therefore, always have unquestionable faith in your very being and let no one tell you otherwise.
Obviously, I am not going to introduce you to some full-proof plan nor typical Five-Step Solution, neither am I going to enlighten you with any hidden rocket science. I will rather share with you something which you might already know but have forgotten. 1.Being Strong is not an Option, it is a necessity.
2. Cry, if you must, but after the last tear has fallen, hold your head up, take a deep breath and just know..you’ll get through..
3. The more time you take in the beginning to choose the right man, the less time you’ll waste, in the end, dealing with the wrong one.
I have been in love with you for four years, and have known you for seven years now. I would not lie to you.
I blatantly regard you as someone extremely difficult to comprehend and embrace owing to your strict schedules and quest for a variedly contemplative and convict perspective towards life. I will not deny the discomfort I suffered because of your completely unjustified mood swings. And of course, how can I forget your continuous adorable (pun intended) reminders of ‘avoiding chocolates’. I so hate it each time.
Nonetheless, I cannot restrict myself from accepting the fact that I have loved you for the way you are and for the way you aspire to be. I have loved you in all the right and wrong ways, I have loved you for accepting me the way I am and wanting to make me into a better person. I have believed in every bit of you not just as a lover, but as an excellent human being. I have incontestable faith in you that you would be doing even greater in life today and more as each day passes.
I just want to be a part of you forever. I want to be an unforgettable emotion for you that you would want to cherish till eternity and beyond because that is exactly who you are to me.
I want to become that one person to whom you can come home to no matter what life brings up. And I promise to ignite and rekindle all the happy emotions in you because you, with your weirdly unromantic ways, revive the passion in me, thereby giving a new definition to what they customarily call as ‘Love & Romance’
With your sweet little gestures filled with the ampleness of love, you make me feel enormously adored and special. And that’s what I want to do, not as to return the favor, but because it makes me feel happier.
Therefore, the perennial love of my life, I request you to not snatch away what I deem is mine, what I believe is mine, and what is supposed to be mine. Do not take away my right to be loved by you.
Let me be a minuscule part of your gorgeous life because when you are happy and contended, I see life smiling back at me 🙂
Here’s to the man who went an extra mile to make the curve on my face wider with his infinite sweet little gestures and endearing acts of care and admiration.
Note:I am not going to talk about the baffling emotion called ‘love’ because I am still struggling to ascertain the true connotation of the sentiment. I am talking about the emotion that is the most important ingredient of the recipe called ‘Life’. I am talking about “RESPECT” that he has deservingly earned.
When the world appeared to be a place that no more energized my inner being, he came to my miraculous rescue and illuminated the gleam of hope that was nowhere to be seen in the abyss I was in.
To answer the questions, I had been asking about the indispensable phases of life and to make sense of all the wrong choices I made, he came to create the sparkling memories and give those unforgettable experiences that were gone astray in my life.
When I failed to comprehend and appreciate own self amidst the mass for the imaginings I couldn’t surmount, he taught me to give time some time, and that to appreciate the beauty of spring, one has to experience the fall.
In all those unendurable times, when I just didn’t want to stand any further, he stood right in front of me as a witness of the goodness of God to reassure the faith in empathy and humaneness that had once gone dead.
With the righteousness in his conduct and valor in his acts, I learned the art of being strong and rationally wise. I learned that until I attempt to take a leap, I’ll never be able to unfold my wings.
And in midst of these lifetime lessons, he gave me endless smiles and enough happiness to be able to deal with the atrocities of life with utmost fortitude.
Many Thanks and Much Gratitude for your endless reassuring gestures!