Good Things Happen to Bad People..

Firstly, let us be clear that the concept of good and bad comes from the way we have been raised. Most of us have been raised on a belief that good deeds are rewarded and bad deeds are punished. And so, we have been programmed in a manner that, if we are good, “good things will happen to us” and the same goes the other way round.

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But that is not the way the Universe functions. The fact is, the universe isn’t punishing or rewarding anyone. Yes, let me repeat it for you: the universe isn’t punishing or rewarding anyone.

The Universe functions exactly the way Shahrukh Khan mentioned, “Kehte Hain Ki….Agar Kisi Cheez Ko Shiddat Se Chaho To Puri Kaynat Usey Tumse Milane Ki Koshish Mein Lag Jati Hai”. And trust me, I am not being Sarcastic here. The Universe does follow it!

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The Universe works on the principle of the Law of Attraction, which means that it is only responding to your thoughts. You get what you believe, regardless of how good or bad you are.  That’s it. And there is no further assumptions attached to it. So, when bad things happen to good people, it is because this is what they had thought – Negative!

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If you think and believe that ‘good’ things are going to happen to you, they will. It doesn’t matter if you are good or bad. Your expectations will still yield positive results. The same holds true in case of reverse. You may be the kindest and most helpful person, but if you have negative expectations about how things are going to turn out in life, that is what you will get.

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So, despite being told that we should be good or do good to others to get good things in life, what really matters is what we believe because that is what is going to happen to us…

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Read More at khurki.net
and Law of Attraction Myth

The battle we fight with the demons inside us

Life. A four letter word. Sounds so simple but comes with so many intricacies. It’s not just about the events going around the world, but also about the battle going on inside each one of us. The battle that we fight with our demons. A battle of heart and mind, a battle of words promised and actions done, a battle of what we desire and what we are served. A battle that is fought each day. Every day.

Love, hurt, happiness, sadness, loyalty, betrayal…all these emotions come together and give birth to this chaotic thing, we fondly call as ‘life’. Someone rightly said, “it’s not about who wins or loses, it’s about who fights.” And probably, we do not win or lose in life, we live life.

Sometimes when dreams play hard to get, my passion finds it damn sexy. And so, it gives rise to the multiple efforts I make every day to chase my dream. In this race, there is so much pleasure. The pleasure of getting closer to my dream each day and realizing that each day is a new challenge and opportunity.

The purpose of life is not just to be happy. It is to feel. It is to feel every single moment. And for the realization of happiness, to feel the pain is essential. And as we are humans, we all carry such lonely and wild feelings inside of us, drunk on the idea that love and only love can heal our brokenness. So, we run. We run behind it till it starts killing us. We probably love things that kill us. We all carry so much inside of us for someone to know. We are humans, trying to make sense of the stars inside us.

Life: When The Reality Isn’t This Cruel And Dreams Had Their Freedom!

When life is not cruel and dreams had their freedom - A Fault By Default

There was a time when I really cared about the people, who we term as, “Our Loved Ones”. When their happiness meant the world to me and their smiles used to give me butterflies. Always trying to fulfill their wishes and working hard for their smiles was the only thing that mattered.

But then I realized that no matter what I do, it will never be enough and that if I need something, I’ll be my only support. Not that my intent was not selfless but as a normal human being, I too had an expectation – I needed someone to listen to me, someone who could understand me as being a Scorpion I was intense and passionate. My thoughts were deep and more matured than my age and ‘my people’ could not relate to me.  I have always been an ambivert by nature, which means a blend of extrovert and introvert. I could interact with new people easily, but I took time to build any kind of bond with them, be it friendship or more. And so, I always needed one person who I could talk to. Someone who I could come home to. Someone who would never turn his back towards me.

Also Read: The battle we fight with the demons inside us

Not that I never got such people, I did, in fact, a couple of them, but people tend to change with time and all of them did. And with each one leaving, the ‘real’ I, changed too. From someone who had so much to talk about, I started to have problems in having long conversations. But I still wanted someone, maybe I still wanted to feel someone’s presence. The change in me had gotten into my mind, the loneliness had gotten into my head. My craving for people reduced to a decent level and inclination towards myself increased more. I was entering a stage where nothing really mattered to me more than my own self. I wasn’t this way and neither did I want myself to transform into this. But I had no choice and for once in my life, I thought of letting myself free: into a world where ‘I’ mattered to me; where it was not just about ‘my people’ but more.

I would not say I became selfish or self-oriented. But yes, their happiness didn’t mean the world to me anymore, it was my responsibility and I knew I had to fulfill it. I never ran away from it. I had changed rather transformed into someone totally different. But my heart was still intense and so were my thoughts. I still knew that the real ‘I’ deserves more than this and I chose to cage it till it’s time – When the reality isn’t this cruel and dreams had their freedom.

5 Things MEN Expect You To Know But Are Afraid To Tell You!

Dear Girls,

Men are said to be simple but with experience, we all have realized they too come under the category – ‘Complicated’ and hence, often that not, keeping your man’s interest to the pinnacle in the relationship, becomes one hell of a task. Gradually, the excitement fades away and so does the relationship. The sole question that needs to be answered here is:

What is it that keeps the man allied to his lady? 

Well, the answer to this is the FIVE rule policy that men expect us to be familiar with but are afraid to tell us:

1. Men need their Personal Space

Like every individual, your guy too needs his space – Please allow him. He knows his responsibilities towards you and the relationship but he has a life away from the ‘two of you’ as well. Understand and accept it! Instead of forcing him into the relationship, let him come to you willingly and with his intent. Men might not say it clearly but they want it.

man and his girl arguing over his personal space

2. Heard about Male-Ego? Yes! That exists!

The nastiest of all and the much thorny one to accept but however tough it appears, there is no escape from it. Male-Ego very much exists and no man has ever been able to conquer that. No matter what you do, just don’t hurt his ego and I repeat, don’t hurt his ego. You need to play the manipulation game to get it in your favor; else the ball will go to somebody else’s court. And you thought your man will say this to you?

the male ego is dangerous. Never hurt it

Also Read: 5 Ways to Make Him Crave For You Now!

3. Grant him some time before he can commit

Isn’t it better to be sure of commitment before promising it? Men are psychologically diverse. They think of a relationship over and above ‘Love Doze’. They need to be sure of being able to accept you as a responsibility more than just a partner. They are afraid of commitment and take time for the same. In fact, we all are afraid of marriage and commitment.It is okay! Grant him some time.

4. They too need to be complimented and appreciated

Every human has the right to be acknowledged for his obliging gestures and kind behavior. Men really do a lot for us even in the routine life and they deserve to be appreciated for the same. Men will not come to you and say this but they too want it. He needs to know that he is special and irreplaceable. And a compliment here and there helps earn you brownie points. After all, who doesn’t like compliments!

woman giving his man a compliment

5. Understand him than being an emotional Hurricane always

Being a man, he has been raised in a manner that makes it difficult to speak his heart openly. Men want you to know that they too have an emotional side.

Sometimes, he too has a bad day at work and wants to discuss the same. He too has family problems to sort. He too needs your support to fight the world. He too wishes to cry. He too needs a hug that promises him that everything would be fine. Yes, he is a man but he too has emotions that need to be understood. 

Guy explaining his girl that men too have an emotional side

Keeping a man is not rocket science. It needs emotions to be understood and desires to be expressed. It needs a reason to not give up on him when everyone else did. It needs to have faith in him and accept him as an individual first and then anything more.

Professionalism is an Attitude, not a Commitment!

Often I come across people jabbering about ‘professionalism’, but I wonder do we even understand the terminology?

As per the oxford dictionary, professionalism is defined as the skills, methods, character or standards of a professional or a professional organization; which means there is no predominantly defined code of conduct that can lead to professionalism.

Although, every profession and professional organizations have their own criteria and understanding of the said term, most of them somehow fail to implement the ‘professional behavior’ in its righteousness. Professionalism, in its literal terms, means the skills and competence expected of a professional. So, the question that arises here is –

What exactly is expected of a professional?

  • They should have the expertise and competence to perform the task assigned to them
  • They should keep their word, and should be implicitly trustworthy
  • They should never compromise their values or depict a biased behavior based on a personal relationship, but should do the right thing, even when, it means taking a harder road
  • Professionals should be able to sense the emotional needs of others. They should be able to give clients and coworkers what they need, because it is important to know how to listen actively and observe what’s happening in order to keep the client as well as the employee contented
  • They should stay professional under pressure; which means they should be kind and polite in their approach. They should possess the required professional etiquette and hence, should be careful of the choice of words and the pitch while talking to anyone they come into contact with, no matter what their role is. This might sound unimportant, but it makes a significant impact
  • Lastly, professionals are the kind of people that others form a high opinion of and value. They are a genuine credit to their organizations!

Unfortunately, the understanding of the term has just been confined to the way a person dresses and presents himself. There is no denial of the aforementioned being an integral part of being a professional but there is much beyond this.

Probably, the judgment needs to be riddled more so as to get a clear image.

The art of “Letting Go”

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Also Published at HuffingtonPost

Since childhood, we are taught to love and care for each other. We are raised in an environment where we grow attached to our loved ones.  We learn to share happiness as well as pain.  Gradually, we feel proud sharing a relationship of pain with our dear ones.  And so, it becomes difficult to imagine our lives without them.  But is it really a healthy relationship? I mean, if we feel sad because another person is sad, the exchange of energy that we have with them is negative.

Here, the realization of “me” becomes important. Although, people misinterpret the concept of being ‘self oriented’ with being ‘selfish’, there is a significant disparity between the two.  While being selfish is a negative trait, being self oriented is a prudent trait.

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One should learn to be independent for his own pleasure and discomfort. The dependencies should be eliminated. The much intricate it sounds, easier it is to execute but the accomplishment needs practice. There are times in our lives where we are scared of losing people; we are afraid of them going away from us. We have learnt to accept this feeling as ‘attachment/love/habit’. But isn’t it true that the fear is not what will happen to them, the fear is what will happen to me, if anything happens to them. The apprehension is that I have not conquered the art of letting go and so I am not prepared for it.

We all have certain responsibilities towards each other and that we are bound by our heart and mind to fulfill them whether we are ready for it or not. We refuse to take a stand for our own happiness because of the inherent belief in us convinces us that my happiness is dependent on others. And that if I think about myself, I might be acting selfish.

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We need to let go off such apprehensions. We need to comprehend the difference between being self-oriented and being self-obsessed. And maybe then, we actually start caring for people not just out of the societal norms but out of the love that exists amidst.

And maybe then, we actually justify the relation of the word “independence” with ourselves.

‘Maturity’ is an Art

‘Maturity’ also known as ‘adulthood’ or the ‘prime of life’ is not an easy target to reach as it does not come with age but with experiences. While older persons are generally perceived as more mature and to possess greater credibility, psychological maturity is not determined by one’s age. One may be old enough to give birth to a child but not mature enough to be called a mother. One may be smart enough to avoid a situation of distress but not mature enough to deal through it. And hence, the understanding of the word “maturity” is of utmost importance especially in your early 20s.

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Believe it or not, there is a direct relation between affliction and maturity. The more you suffer, the better you evolve because with experience, you learn to deal with analogous situations in a much sorted manner. This not only helps in maintaining a balance between the work and personal life but also keeps mental stability.

Also Read: The art of “letting go”

It is a well known truism that girls mature faster than boys. But now, scientists have discovered for the first time that their brains can develop up to ten years earlier than boys. According to a survey, Girls’ brains can begin maturing from the age of 10 while some men have to wait until 20 before the same organisational structures take place. Hence, girls are better decision takers than their counterpart of the same age.

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Being mature is an art one conquers over time. It pushes you into situations of torment and forces you to make your way through it. It demands strength and stability. It demands the sense of understanding the difference between right and wrong. It teaches you to learn from your mistakes. It explains that growing is not easy; it is an arduous journey but you will sail through. It makes you see the light beyond darkness.

Have Faith in the World!!

Very often we hear about bloodshed, violence and hatred which makes us feel that the world is approaching its end; there wouldn’t be a tomorrow and there would not be love anywhere. Our angers flare to violence and we demand justice. We cherish each heartbeat and murder at will. We accept mockery as a part of our everyday routine. We decide the grade of beauty by the color of skin. We wish for love, yet enjoy seeking revenge.  We talk about change, yet do not initiate. We feel saddened by poverty but do not believe in charity.We seek pleasure in the pain of others. We understand suffering only when we go through it. We rise to every challenge and sink to any depth.

Man’s inhumanity to man is as old as humanity itself and so does man’s compassion for others.  I have no interest in human perfectibility but in human perceptions. And so when few of them see the bad in the world, most of us manage to see the good too.

Also Read: A Fight between Terror & Humanity – My Heart Bleeds

We make a difference each day just by engaging in life. When crisis intervene our lives, we selflessly participate with each other for each other.  As Einstein once stated, “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving…” We always have a choice about how we take what happens to us in our lives, and whether or not we allow it turn us. Sometimes the world fails to be pretty but that doesn’t mean we too would. There is a lot bad in this world but something still is nice and that helps us survive.

Also Read: Because They Are Memories

Each time I see an infant coming to life or the flowers blossom, my faith in the world revives and I realize that there is so much love in the world than what my heart can absorb. The beauty still exists and so do its admirers. The trust exists and so does humanity. The faith exists and so does the desire of living.

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The chase to Perfection

As I said, no matter how much you claim perfection in your guy we all know at one point in time, they all disappoint us not because they are not aware of it but they actually refuse to accept it. Probably because at the end of the day ‘they’ belong to a gender which will never ever consider a woman more than her looks and of course, the body. Oh yes, they too consider the emotions till the time they feel it and the expectations of reciprocation is high but with time their interest drops and so does their duty of fulfilling the promises once made.

As I said, no matter how much you claim perfection in your guy we all know at one point in time, they all have disappointed us not because they were not aware of it but they actually refused to accept it. Probably because at the end of the day ‘they’ belong to a gender which will never consider a woman more than her looks and of course the body. Oh Yes! they do consider the emotions but only when they feel like and their expectations of reciprocation is high. With time their interest drops and so does the duty of fulfilling the promises once made.

Also Read: Art Of Letting Go

Sometimes we all think things are perfect and that’s when it hits us in the face- The reality. The fact that it was never perfect; it was all in our head. Or that we just liked the whole concept of perfection and hence we just fantasized that we are. Then we get tired of adjustments- the adjustments we make just to have this concept applicable and so we decide to leave because there was never “We”, only “I” from his side and “Him” from my side. Why did I adjust?

Because of the thought- we are perfect and since it was all I ever wanted in life, I just agreed to settle for something less than I could possibly get or less than he could actually give. He too got settled for not going out of his comfort zone to impress me because I let him believe that I’ll be there with him whether he loves me back or not. I made a mistake. But not that big a mistake that could not be reversed. And so I decided to reverse it. Because one day my guy will come and I’ll never feel he isn’t the right one 🙂

Battling between my Realest Self and Wildest Fantasies !!

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There are things that we always desire for in a person but are unable to attain. We think about them quite often and wonder what it would be like to have our wishes fulfilled; we smile and let that thought bury in our minds because we have accepted that certain things are not meant for us- love is not meant for us.

What if someday you encounter all your dreams in an instance; what if all that you have ever wanted comes and stands in front of you?  Would you be able to embrace the gift that you have just received? Maybe you will step back because you are afraid of trusting someone or are afraid of getting hurt. Or maybe you were never prepared to get what you always desired for. And hence when it is just one step ahead, you feel scared because the very thought that not everything can be achieved has gotten into your head, from which you see no escape. This is where the problem lies. It is perfectly fine to refrain from doing the wrong but only when you know it is wrong. Till then, you need to make efforts to achieve what you have always wanted. There are chances that you may be hurt more than you can endure but you will come out stronger. There are chances that you may fail again but there are chances to the contrary as well.

Also Read: ‘Expectations lead to disappointments’: Indeed true it is!!

Honestly, each time I’ve looked for love, I’ve immediately lost it; probably because I’ve set myself up for failure. I’ve lost the battle that wages between my realest self and my wildest fantasies. The real me knows falling in love is just — falling — but the fantasy in me thinks falling into love means running towards love. I believe no one deserves infinite loneliness; everyone deserves infinite love, but perhaps not all of us.  And so with every passing day, the belief in “true love” started to fade away and the emotional instinct probably got stonewashed.

But then I decided to live my dreams and ever since then I have never looked back. I have learned a lesson that to go into the world and seek love is to go out into the world and undermine love. The kind of great love will hit me in the face and shake me to the core. And when I’ll find it, it won’t fulfill my expectations; it will exceed them.